We are convinced that we are two of a kind, although,as we write, more people come to mind..more, like us dotting the blue planet and the Lord knows what other seas and planets and parallel worlds----sisters in uncertainty.(I am inclined not to add the brothers to our ranks-----we never had a brother who was truly bluely like us). Last evening there were three of us; today , a sobering two. It is easier to comprehend difficult things that otherwise swirl past one in moments like this, that is,when one has a sober spell after a particularly boisterous and joyous spell-----I prefer not to use the term happy because yesterday we were not happy. The unhappiness was just suspended amidst the noise and clamour of the headiness of being together like this. Joy is not the same as happiness, not always that is. I move away from the point. We discoursed on our relationship with other friends and acquaintances, and although unspoken, family even. It is uncanny that we are perceived almost the same way by our circle and the other networks of varying geometric shapes. Or at least, we concur on how others perceive us. A category of those whose company we appreciate, feel pressured by our company.We think that it is not even an excess of our company that is too much for them---our presence in itself is an excess. They are happy to communicate with us through email and messages but even a phone call is fraught with layers of rarefied grey feelings----the best we can manage in these conversations is ---'Umm...what's up?' and after a silence,..'So,...what....um..what's up?'...... Another lot I am glad to say,revel in our presence.They wait for us in between dreary spells amidst dreary colleagues, shoots and stuff ....wait for us tolight up their rooms. But we are just the ten minute break, not the background lived world. It is for themthat we are forced to artyiculate on our situation. We are nevern the toast. We shall never be the butter. We are dispensable but refreshing to some. We are the pepper on the butter.